Fae A Feartie (Exasperation et the poet’s cow’rin wiys).

When ah sit doon an’ huv a think –
Maist aften efter heavy drink –
Ah dwell upoan wan hing that iyways
Gees me doot;
Am sitch a feartie when it comes
Tae speakin’ oot.

Noo, ah ken, this shouldnae be –
Am twinty-two, but still ah flee
Fae situations where a huv
Tae take a stand;
In ma heid ah’ll surely faw
An’ erse cheek land.

Try as ah might tae ascertain
The root an’ cause eh this great pain,
Ma memories seem aw rolled intae
Wan big reel eh
Ragin’ beamers aw through school
An’ legs like jeely.

The stert eh solo talks were cruel;
Sitch dark days, sickies ah’d pull.
Ah couldnae git ma heid aroon’
The glarin’ fact
Ah’d jist damn nearly shite ma drawers
Et eye contact.

Movin’ oan, am still no richt –
When tryin’ tae keep calm, am a sicht;
Ah end up dain deep breaths,
Wan “in” an’ wan big “oot”;
Gaspin’ like a birthin’ coo,
It isnae cute.

Sometimes though it’s sitch a joke
When am a mess aroon’ new folk;
The thought eh chat gees me the boke –
Ma heid stays doon.
Ah really wahnt tae chinge an’ turn
Masel’ aroon’.

Inside ah hope: “This time, perhaps”,
But still spout shite tae fill the gaps
Eh awkward silence when ah don’t
Ken whit tae say;
Ah’d break oot eh this prison if
Ah kent the way.

Fur ah huv come tae learn, yi see,
Some folk are jist as shy as me,
Except they dae a better joab
Eh stayin’ oan toap.
There’s jist nae reason fur ma wiys;
They huv tae stoap.

An’ so, ah plan tae git this goan
Lest ah’m forever oan ma own
An’ turn intae a onesie hermit,
Feelin’ loast;
While ither lassies gant aboot
Ah eat ma toast.

So here ah go, it’s time ah learned
Tae chinge where shyness is concerned;
Ah cannae be a daft wee moose
Another year.
The best eh life is oan the ither
Side eh fear.

Fae A Feartie

8 thoughts on “Fae A Feartie (Exasperation et the poet’s cow’rin wiys).

  1. Loved this. Awesome technique, funny bathos but the pathos stilled me back in empathy. Are you really like that or, is it an exercise ?

    • Thank you! Haha ^_^ Yes, I actually am like that from time to time sadly. I’m terrified of big crowds and usually shy away from situations where I’m singled out.

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