A Scot’s Lament fur her American Fellows (Oan their election of a tangerine gabshite walloper).

America, aw whit ye dain?! How could ye choose a clueless wain Ti lead yir country? Who wid trust A man sae vile?! A racist, sexist eedjit Wi a shite hairstyle? Yet lo, ye votit (michty me!) Ti hawn’ this …

Tae A Selfie (A “broad Scots” poem inspired by the work of Robert Burns).

(Oan takin’ a hunner fur Facebook an’ postin’ when pished). Oh my Goad, am feelin’ great; Aff tae the dance flair tae gyrate. Oor kitchen’s lookin’ like a sea Of glam an’ glitter. A hawd oan tae ma bevvy ticht …